Vacation from Social Media

Today is my second day back at work from a three week vacation. But I didn’t only take a vacation from work, but also from Twitter, Facebook, and the web in general. I couldn’t completely ignore the computer though as I was working on my third novel/novelette, Six Strings, but I was strictly off the social “interwebs”.

And I didn’t miss it. Instead I did things like fishing, reading (preferably outside with a paper book), took walks, and spent some well-needed time with family = activities that didn’t influence my Klout score one bit. It felt good. No, it felt great.

I guess you need a reminder sometimes that the analog world can be pretty damn spectacular in its own right and that the constant stream of information you’re subjected to every day can be stressful. Get out of its way if you can for a while, see how it feels like. I don’t think you will miss it that much.

It might not be healthy if you do.

I’m not saying social media is bad in any way, because I’ve learned quite a bit from my interactions on Twitter and Facebook, but it does make me unfocused and jittery at times. Too many distractions, too many links.

I know this sounds totally cliché, but it’s easy to forget to pause your life for a bit and go on a information diet.

That’s what a proper vacation should be like, I think.

The Power of Patience

My twitter stream has been full of powerful advice lately. It’s in fact amazing how many smart and hard-working people there are on Twitter, let alone the world. It’s almost as if the competition to be seen and heard, which I guess is what we all want in some way or other, is overwhelming. But when you should rejoice in knowing that there are many brilliant people out there, that the planet is full of them, instead you feel deflated. A voice in your head goes: “Why should anyone listen to me? What do I have to offer?”

The world gets smaller and smaller and more connected, but sometimes that doesn’t make you feel bigger – it makes you realize the massive size of everything – the breathtaking number of people struggling and hustling to be the next big thing, the next big author, social media expert, inspiration, musician, or let’s use an even bigger word: phenomenon. The mindset is: you haven’t heard of me, but you will. It’s the voice of the WANT.

I’m fascinated by this constant WANTING and it’s something I think is a factor in all of my books in one way or the other. Probably because I struggle with this, how much I can want and how hard I should work for it and how much I should relax, enjoy life and take it easy. When you work hard for something you want gratification and you tend to want it rather quickly.


The key, writer Jeff Goins say, is to embrace the wait and really try to enjoy and savour the moments “in between”. He’s written a book about it (The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between the Now and the Next Big Thing) that seems very interesting and it’s definitely on my to-read-list.

It’s all about patience though, isn’t it? As soon as you’re bored these days you go on your mobile and hope to see a funny comment on Facebook, someone liking your latest Instagram or Pinterest pic, or an interesting link on Twitter. And if social media is not your thing, there are countless apps and games to keep you entertained and “un-bored”.

I’m not sure if this is what Goins talks about in The In-Between, but maybe it’s good to be bored sometimes? Maybe it’s good to just wait and think and be? Maybe it’s good to allow things to take time?

I thought about this a lot after reading this excellent post called Write Less, Say More on blogging. When you write a post it’s easy to feel the need to click publish as soon as you’re ready (or think you’re ready). The big, inviting publish button whispers: “Click me!” because you know you just can’t wait to get likes, shares and other forms of instant gratification. But if you hold the power of patience, you could let your writing rest and breathe and if you did that, the next day you’d probably see things slightly differently. You’d rethink and rewrite and in so doing improve the post and maybe also learn something extra in the process. This could end up transforming it into something that really gives you gratification. It could maybe even make it into something that really moves someone, that really lasts.

And if no-one ever reads or sees it, maybe that’s okay too? Maybe you wrote that post just for you?

George Clooney – The Eternal Bachelor

On my impossibly long Twitter timeline, I found out the “jaw-dropping” news that George Clooney has split up with Stacy Keibler. The reason she broke up with him was that he didn’t want to settle down.

Should this have come as a big surprise to Keibler? After all, Clooney is known as the eternal bachelor. It doesn’t matter if he’s now 52 and Keibler is 33 – he’s not into the family lifestyle. Good to know for future women who take a healthy or apparently unhealthy interest in the former “Sexiest Man Alive”.

It seems like famous people are less prone to settle down. Why? You might ask. Well, it’s possible that the lifestyle is a little too good to pass up on. Because obviously things will change somewhat once children come into the picture. Or maybe there’s some kind of unresolved childhood trauma that makes them opt out of the “usual procedure”. I’m just guessing here, maybe you have other theories? Let me know.

But hey! Each man or woman to his or her own. If you don’t want kids and are not looking to build a family, it’s your choice. The world will be okay (since we’re pretty much overpopulated anyway).

So go George, may you find happiness wherever that may be.

I dealt with this celebrity “issue” in my latest novel Hollywood Ass. by the way. The main character is not keen on starting a family and that’s one reason her marriage is not working out…read more about Hollywood Ass.


Funny tweets win?

If you’re not a celebrity it seems like the best way to get a healthy twitter following is to write one, two or three-line jokes (remember, 140 characters is the max!). Just look at guys like @yourfavwhiteguy who writes adolescent jokes to the joy of close to 180 000 people along with his buddy @bestworstadvice and also @fatjew who has slightly, but very slightly more class. Then we have @rodney_at_large and specifically @damienfahey and @juliussharpe who are all quite funny and have a decent amount of followers.

So if you want followers on twitter, (because as we all know the one with the most followers when he dies wins) you need to be funny.

These are my few lame (most recent) twitter attempts so far which makes me realize it’s not so easy being funny on Twitter and the jokes rarely hold up for longer than 140 seconds.

There’s a lot of fat people not getting any skinnier every morning in the gym. What do they do afterwards? Food contests?

Why do people follow others just to get followed? It seems like cheating in the #Twitter game to me.

No one looks as peaceful as my L when she sleeps. She must be having the sweetest dreams. I sleep like I was the lead in the Exorcist. RT @DamienFahey: The worst iPhone app ever would be one that sends you a text message anytime your dad gets a boner.

#Iceland has #ash clouds, Holland has hash clouds. None of them gives you wings.

Cheat all u want, u d man! RT @TigerWoods: Bet was over after first question but of course I’m going to give the money to the @TWFoundation.

The Foo Fighters latest album is a bit like bubble gum: it sticks to you at first, but then you want to throw it away.

Something about that doesn’t sound right. RT @dougrobson: WSJ’s@tomperrotta goes deep on the new balls

Just love it when someone suffers from severe flatulence in the gym. Mixes wonderfully with the smell of old man’s sweat…

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris are getting married E-channel tells me. She won the Russian roulette game of marrying and inheriting Hugh.

If you wear a condom on your head to hide your face as you commit theft you become a “Rubber robber”. Just so you know.

Niklas Derouche går på cirkus i tweetform

Artwork: “Clown” by Etienne Bugeja, one of the talented designers in my team.


Niklas Derouche (nikder) är en av de roligaste svenskarna på twitter. Igår kväll beskrev han sin kväll på cirkus så här …(tweetform)

Är på cirkus. 6-åringens entusiastisk. Jag: inte direkt.

Om vi säger att det är dåligt så stämmer det på samma sätt som det stämmer att Sune Mangs var lite rund.

Diverse barn äter sockervadd med den där tomma blicken man får av extrem sockeröverdos.

Föreställningen ljussatt av ngn som verkligen hatar epileptiker. Jag använder “föreställningen” löst här.

En trött häst hoppar runt. Hurra.

Två trötta femtioplussare spelar trummor (halvdant) och steppar (dåligt)

En närmast kafkaartad upplevelse när clownen försöker få hjälp från en totalt bedövad publik

Just sjunger buktalarclownen strangers in the Night medan publiken skruvar förvirrat på sig.

Herregud ni skulle inte tro mig.

Den här hockeyfrillan……

Ett nummer som går ut på snabba klädbyten. Nåja. Nu är clownen tillbaka.

Valuta för pengarna anlände just i form av fyra folkilskna kameler.

De lufsar omkring lite planlöst och undviker kvinnan m piskan. Sonen lyrisk. Jag: katatonisk.

Nu är det paus. De borde servera rökheroin istället för sockervadd för att det här ska bli den utannonserade resan mellan dröm o verklighet

Toalettavgift 10 kronor. #win

I manegen, en whiteboard med nödtorftigt dittejpade ballonger

I ett anfall av desperation försöker några barn montera ner delar av läktaren men stoppas. Tyvärr.

Om andra akten liknar den första förstår jag kamelernas molokna utseende.

Ni som skickar era barn på cirkusskolor – ni dömer era barn t fula kläder och horribla frisyrer.

Jag har någon slags hopp om att cirkusdirektören ska begå seppuku i slutet.

Kakafonisterna vaknade just till liv igen. Livfullt. Ni förstår. De har slagit på en panna i pausen.

En man m hockeyfrilla skjuter sönder ballongerna m armborst. Nu med hjälp av bedagad blondin.

Finns det inte lagar mot sånt här (Ping @HeleneGestrin )

Sex ponnys i manegen, nu har tom 6-åringen insett att ngt är lurt. “Vad bråttom de har, ska de med tåget?”

De är på Ekerö i morgon. Jag säger inget mer

“Den bästa kattdressyr som visats på svensk cirkus”. Jag finner inte ord.

Nu kom kassatanten ut i röd klänning och skrålar “there’s no business like show business” på ett sätt som är bortom tondövhet

Plågan Cirkus Wictoria är över.

Jag tror ni fick bättre underhållning än jag.

Till alla nya följare: mitt liv är inte alltid så miserabelt som ikväll. Bara så ni vet.

Kanye West, Justin Bieber and Twitter


Today Kanye West and Justin Bieber are “conversing” on Twitter. Kanye, who is a very talented songwriter and created the masterpiece College Dropout, tweeted that he can’t stop listening to Biebers song “Runaway Love” and that they should work together. Pretty amazing to see world famous artists do some social “tweetworking”. Twitter is a strange phenomenon.

Kanye’s tweets are pretty funny so I would recommend following them. Otherwise you must check out his new single “Power” that has been out for a while – it kicks some serious ass. He also did a song called “See Me Now” with Beyonce that you can download for free (free is good, right?). Kanye is always original, always controversial and always interesting.

When you check out different music clips online you often find nasty comments about Justin Bieber. People seem to really dislike him for being successful and harass him for not making “real” music. I don’t really like his music a whole lot (although “Baby” with Ludacris can be pretty addictive) but I think it is kind of unfair to take a talented 16-year old and crucify him as a symbol for the music industry today. Leave the guy alone and let him get all the success he can.

Don’t be hatin’
That’s just wastin’
Your energy, your time
Success is no crime
Be inspired not frustrated
Find your own way, not your hatred
That’s just lame jealousy
Don’t make fame an enemy
So don’t be hatin’
If you know what I’m sayin’