Another Nice Review for Hollywood Ass.

I was very pleased to read a review on ChickLit Pad today for Hollywood Ass. Please read the full review here. Here’s an excerpt from the review:

With Jonas Eriksson’s Hollywood Ass, you don’t need to be reading any crap about Hollywood that isn’t Hollywood.

I was impressed. Highly. Language was fantastic. Humor was intact. Characters were breathtaking. And, Oh, Em, Geez- the facts. The facts were, uh, not fictional.

Nothing reeled me in about the blurb. But when I went in to the book, just the opening pages and Jonas has me as his new fan.

Not Chick-lit. But a closer sibling, lad-lit. And a very entertaining one…

So if you want an Insider info on Hollywood from an assistant’s perspective, sauntering on cobblestones of Rome lavishing it’s beautiful people, scenery and getting chased by paparazzi, you will be disappointed if you don’t pick Eriksson’s Hollywood Ass.

Thanks for that! Made my day.

I Give Away Free Books – Hollywood Ass.

HOLLYWOOD ASSToday and tomorrow I’m giving away my 4-star novel Hollywood Ass. completely free of charge. All you need to do is to click this link and download the e-book. Even if you don’t have a Kindle you can still download the Kindle reading app for your Mac, PC, Android phone, iPhone or other device.

So make sure you don’t forget to download Hollywood Ass. a fast-paced romantic comedy about the world of celebrities and their assistants. I would of course be eternally grateful for any share! Hashtag #hollywoodass

More about the book below:

HOLLYWOOD ASS.
A romantic and humorous story about Hollywood, fame, friendship and love.

A Hollywood superstar suffers a mental collapse, her marriage is on the ropes, her career is at a standstill and the only one keeping it all together is her loyal assistant and friend, Darryl. Problem is, he’s kind of in love with her. Soon he finds himself drawn into a story that is much like the movies his employer stars in. But in real life the answers aren’t in the script…

Buy it today at Amazon or read a sample at Scribd. Print UK, Print US
Links for Hollywood Ass. kindle version: US, UK, DE, FRES, IT, JP, CA, BR

What people say about Hollywood Ass.

“Fascinating.”
“I enjoyed the book, it was funny, there was some drama and a little love story.”
“I found it nearly impossible to put down at night.”
“The pace was excellent and had a mixture of serious and funny moments.”
“Cute and funny story!”

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George Clooney – The Eternal Bachelor

On my impossibly long Twitter timeline, I found out the “jaw-dropping” news that George Clooney has split up with Stacy Keibler. The reason she broke up with him was that he didn’t want to settle down.

Should this have come as a big surprise to Keibler? After all, Clooney is known as the eternal bachelor. It doesn’t matter if he’s now 52 and Keibler is 33 – he’s not into the family lifestyle. Good to know for future women who take a healthy or apparently unhealthy interest in the former “Sexiest Man Alive”.

It seems like famous people are less prone to settle down. Why? You might ask. Well, it’s possible that the lifestyle is a little too good to pass up on. Because obviously things will change somewhat once children come into the picture. Or maybe there’s some kind of unresolved childhood trauma that makes them opt out of the “usual procedure”. I’m just guessing here, maybe you have other theories? Let me know.

But hey! Each man or woman to his or her own. If you don’t want kids and are not looking to build a family, it’s your choice. The world will be okay (since we’re pretty much overpopulated anyway).

So go George, may you find happiness wherever that may be.

I dealt with this celebrity “issue” in my latest novel Hollywood Ass. by the way. The main character is not keen on starting a family and that’s one reason her marriage is not working out…read more about Hollywood Ass.

/J.

“This is a divorce. In Hollywood that’s as big as someone painting their house.”

Here are some more quotes and excerpts from the romantic comedy Hollywood Ass...

“When B had launched her projectile vomit, right there on the red carpet, the world stopped for a second and stared at the mash of white wine, shrimp, guacamole and God knows what else, and asked the obvious question: What the hell happened? The famous TV-presenter, who witnessed the whole thing from only a meter away and probably got some of her regurgitated food on his shoes, probably asked the same thing. He was frozen and pale, a rare look on his always polished and controlled facade.”

B was an immensely successful romantic comedy actress and the star of movies that made women all over the world go “oooh” and guys go “uuuugh”.

“Good luck,” A said without a hint of belief in his voice and returned to his Ferrari, a car that always performed flawlessly, something I’m sure he wished for in his wife.

B about her husband’s transformation: “From flower-petal-trails to scratching his balls openly and only lusting after things with wheels, what an amazing transformation! I used to feel like the most special woman in the world and now I’m like his sister, bucktooth Bree from fucking Oklahoma. I should take a sledgehammer down to that garage!”

“No, of course I don’t hate you. I was just worried about you, because the B I know doesn’t run away to foreign countries to have late night rendezvous’ with other men.”

A man was touching me. Luckily we weren’t in a bar, but in a Gucci store and the man was a white-haired, old-school tailor with a pen behind his ear and measuring tape in his hands. I was getting an outfit custom-made, express charge and was paying for it.

“No. There was only one thing alive on you and it was THAT thing.” B’s eyed travel downwards and fastened on where my groin would be, if it wasn’t covered by the bed linen.

Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat.

I don’t know how I managed to keep calm and take it, but I did. I saw them exchange jokes and smiles and look so goddamn worry-free that for a second I felt like throwing my wine glass in their faces and leave. Take that you rich and soulless motherfuckers! How does the wine taste when you got it through your nose?

Buy Hollywood Ass. on Amazon.com

I Know You Want a Piece of Ass.

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I know, I know. It’s an absolutely ridiculous headline showcasing my very bad taste.

But it does look good though, doesn’t it? And by that I don’t mean any old ass, I mean the print edition of Hollywood Ass. as displayed in the picture above. The cover is designed by the excellent designer Etienne Bugeja who also designed The Wake-Up Call.

(By the way, Ass. is an abbreviation of assistant)

Print UK: http://amzn.to/12hWggM

Print US: http://amzn.to/XZcQLC

If you prefer e-books, Hollywood Ass. is actually FREE today.

Links for Hollywood Ass kindle version:

US: http://amzn.to/XZcQLC

UK: http://amzn.to/Z3jMHL

DE: http://amzn.to/XqZzkb

FR: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B00BMU0GT2

ES: https://www.amazon.es/dp/B00BMU0GT2

IT: https://www.amazon.it/dp/B00BMU0GT2

JP: http://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B00BMU0GT2

CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00BMU0GT2

BR: https://www.amazon.com.br/dp/B00BMU0GT2

 

 

 

 

 

HOLLYWOOD ASS.

A romantic and humorous story about Hollywood, fame, friendship and love.

If you like the drama celebrity lives provide, you should check out Hollywood Ass. a romantic comedy with loveable characters and lots of laughs.

A Hollywood superstar suffers a mental collapse, her marriage is on the ropes, her career is at a standstill and the only one keeping it all together is her loyal assistant and friend, Darryl. Problem is, he’s kind of in love with her. Soon he finds himself drawn into a story that is much like the movies his employer stars in. But in real life the answers aren’t in the script…

Enjoy this romantic and humorous story about Hollywood, fame, friendship and love. Buy it today at Amazon.com or read a sample at Scribd.

LINKS
PrintUK US
Kindle:  US  UK DE  FR  ES  IT  JP  CA  BR

Some comments about Hollywood Ass.

“This was a delightful read that made me laugh and love these two unexpected lovebirds!” 

“This is like the Wake-up call by the same writer, Jonas Eriksson. You start reading it and you don´t want to stop. Many twists to the story make it interesting. And the end was exactly the way I wanted it!”

“Not quite romance and not quite comedy, the story is powerful and interesting enough to be the next big Love Actually. It’s difficult not to feel for the leading roles in this book. A very entertaining view on Hollywood life.” 

“Transports you into another world! Enjoyed the trip and loved every minute reading it!”

 

Mad Men and Hollywood Marriage

Thanks to Twitter I stumbled upon this article which states that Elisabeth Moss, who plays Peggy Olsen in our favorite TV series Mad Men, has recently made her public debut with her new boyfriend, a guy with the cool name of Adam Arkapaw (kapow!).

I don’t really care one bit about Elisabeth Moss, except for her doing a brilliant job in the series, but I like her quote about her ex-husband, SNL-comedian Fred Armisen, who she was married to for eight months:

“One of the greatest things I heard someone say about him is, He’s so great at doing impersonations, but the greatest impersonation he does is that of a normal person.”

The Daily Mail article said it was a difficult divorce and after that kind of comment, I can see it.

Eight months might sound like a very short time to be married, but in Hollywood relationships play by different rules. I would love to see some statistics on the average Hollywood marriage, but all I could find in my research was this Wikipedia overview of successful and less successful Hollywood marriages.

One obvious recent example is of course Kim Kardashian‘s marriage to Kris Humphries which infamously lasted only 72 days. This makes Katy Perry and Russell Brand‘s marriage of 14 months seem rather long. But the one that beats them all is Skinhead (Sinéad) O’Connor and Barry Herridge’s marathon date/marriage which lasted 16 days!

How can you marry someone only to be together for 16 days? Must be all impulse? We can easily say that people in Hollywood have less time to meet and properly get to know each other, more stress in their careers and their public lives, often run into other interesting people and thereby often tempted to look for something better. Famous people also tend to be quite emotional, which might make marrying someone after only a few weeks together not seem like such a bad idea.

But let me close this post by saying that if you look like these two, it’s always a bad idea.

Pic: Sinéad O’Connor and Barry Herridge

Thanks for reading and sharing, /J.

Beverly Hills makes for Heavenly Bills

But there sure are beautiful houses. Just look at Lisa Vanderpump‘s (from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) “house”. Lenah and I are doing plenty of Hollywood and celebrity research for my upcoming novel (set in the Hollywood celebrity world, Rome and New York) at the moment and it’s quite interesting. I’m working hard whenever I get a free moment and I hope to release the novel named Hollywood PA on April 1st (not as an April fools joke!).

I will post more information about the upcoming book over the next two months, it’s a humorous take on the Hollywood lifestyle and also a love story with a twist. It will be interesting to see what people think of it when it’s released. For now, please enjoy these photos of Beverly Hills housewife, Lisa Vanderpump’s fabulous “house”.

How to sell a car and other links

used_carIt is not always easy to sell a used car. But maybe it matters in what way it was used? Here is an example of someone trying a different approach. The link comes from www.linkbuzzters.com

In Hollywood…new topless pictures of Britney Spears has leaked out and Megan Fox is saying that they should legalize cannabis. But then again she is 22 or something, a dangerous age. Nope, I won’t link here. Google it yourselves, folks.

The biggest news of the day is surely Paris Hilton’s new doggie mansion. There is something very retarded about Paris Hilton that seems to attract people.

For you who have an interest in REAL celebrities (fellow Fedophiles!) here is some eye-candy. The Fed-express is on the way to 15 now. Hopefully already at Wimbledon. But the discussion if he is the all-time greatest can end right now. He is. Period.